July 23, 2011

Sunday 24 July 2011

Haven't miscarried as yet but I'm feeling like i'm on the verge. Have had spotting and am feeling crampy this morning. Spoke to the hospital who put me on to their after hours GP and he said just see how you go and book in with GP tomorrow. He said I'd probably have to wait hours to get a scan at the hospital on a sunday anyway. I wish if it was going to happen that it would just happen now so I can get on with things..this waiting is awful. I just looked at the news as well and god! 98 people dead in Norway after terrorist attack? and the amazing Amy Winehouse dead. Far out, think I'll just go jump off the roof.

....later that day. Had a bath and now feeling totally exhausted. Bleeding more regularly now like a light-medium period and feel a bit crampy. Could take a few days I guess. It's quiet and the sun is shining onto my bed. I don't feel so upset now...just feel like i'll have to dust my self off and try again when I'm ready. Besides we've still got so much more to do to our house etc. I so wish this wasn't happening but nothing I can do except keep myself healthy and well for next time. There's a lesson for me here somewhere and I'm not being hard on myself. The situation is almost exactly the same as it was last time. I had a colleague at work a couple of weeks ahead of me and our neighbours were away at the same time so I was collecting eggs from their chooks. Maybe it's just to be more accepting of the way life twists and turns. To not take it so personally To not be so hard on myself. To be soft (not become hardened and bitter) and to feel ok with protecting my emotions by distancing myself from certain situations if I need to.

1 comment:

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