July 20, 2011

Wednesday 20 July 2011

Still pregnant! I'm feeling much more positive about this pregnancy and have even booked myself into a birthing centre. I didn't do this last time round and I remember feeling that it was all very fragile at the time. I didn't want to risk getting too excited, as if I knew somewhere in my body what was going to occur. This time I'm quite excited and letting myself think about the kind of birth I would like. I'm six weeks and there's a blob a little over the size of a seseme seed growing in my belly. I've been feeling ok, not too nauseas or tired so far. I have occasional moments of fear when I have a cramp in my stomach but otherwise everything has been quite mild. I'm thinking about a home birth. I like the idea of a blow up pool in my lounge room with my partner, mum and sister around me. The thought of not having any pain relief handy is a little daunting but I know I'd feel less stressed in my own home in the first place which would help me. I guess I have to see how the pregnancy progresses. I sometimes wonder if I set up a beautiful atmosphere at home to have the birth in, my neighbour will probably start playing his incessant doof music which inturn may release my inner mad woman and help me give birth!

I've been trying to be somewhat with the other pregnant girl at work. I still feel annoyed at being in a similar situation as I was last time but it's so selfish of me to think like that. It's just taken me a while to get over the emotion surrounding her announcement. I want to try and patch things up with my brother somehow too. I don't want negative crap floating around in my head while i'm pregnant. I want to really enjoy it and not take it for granted. I watched an amazing tale on Australian story about a woman with a genetic disorder who went to hell and back to get pregnant. Her journey was extradordinary and heartbreaking, inspiring and heartwarming. Check it out, www.abc.net.au/iView on the Australian Story website (18 July 2011). Keep the tissues handy.

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